Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Don't Start Back At "Day 1" After Slip-up

Today should actually be day 13, but last night I ate a veggie sandwich and 1 baked potato. I don't think it's fair to start back at "day 1" because of one slip-up. Maybe if I had a couple of days off the diet, but not after just one meal. Going back to day 1 makes it feel like the last 11 days didn't happen. Sure, my outcome will not be exactly the same on day 30 as it would of had I not eaten the 1 cooked meal, but it will still be pretty significant... and I will just add on more time (1 extra day at least) to my goal, before I evaluate whether this diet is helping me. Once I decide to become a 100% seriously committed 811rv I will start counting days strictly, like one would in A.A.

Why did I slip up?
-After having had a bad day (resulting from quitting my job I JUST started), I saw myself as bad, and wanted to just keep acting in accordance with that, perhaps? I know that I have been very "mind identified" the past few days and so sticking to the diet has become more challenging. It's easy to believe the thoughts your ego creates. It's easy to have moments of not caring about yourself... of self destruction, or punishment. Why would anyone want to punish themselves? Cause they are confused about who they really are... believing they are the voice in the head, that has the identity of either "good" or "bad".
-It's also easy to become apathetic after a week on a diet. This may happen especially if you start having some relief in your symptoms, and thus begin to forget just how miserable you were with your old diet/lifestyle.

How Can I Keep Going?
-Watching videos and reading articles on 80/10/10 to help stay motivated and excited about this choice, but remember its a trial and I should not demand or expect this diet to make me feel awesome.
-Self affirmations like "I want this," "30 days before evaluating or doubting" and "I like eating fruit, its enjoyable and stress-free"
-Develop more structure in my day (less time to be lost in thoughts) and to also build up self esteem, and also endurance for pushing through discomfort, whether it be depression, sickness, or cravings. Because of depression and chronic fatigue, I've lost a lot of my good habits and have become used to spending my days in bed. I need to push myself to be more active (not over doing it of course).
-Daily positives list. Make sure I catch negative thoughts and address them quickly, otherwise if left to, they will snowball into a terrible mood that takes much work to undo. Keep a notepad near by to jot down a unhelpful thought in that moment, and challenge it by saying the opposite. For example: "I don't want to feel dizzy anymore, I feel dizzy on 80/10/10"
challenge: "I want to feel dizzy because, it helps me appreciate the times when I do feel good more, because it gives me opportunity to learn how to be happy despite what happens with my body or life situation, and it helps me develop more compassion to those with vertigo or similar issues. I also felt dizzy on the cooked diet as well, not just with 811"

I'm gonna keep this up because its really worth a try.

Today's Meals (thus far)
-3 bananas in a.m. (after waking up, I ate to help me fall back asleep)
-green smoothie: 5 big bananas, 1 head greens
-4 oranges

3 glasses of water

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