Saturday, November 28, 2009
Finding My Courage Again
This Monday would of been 6 months sober, but last night, I relapsed. It hit me, that my romantic relationship is actually over for good. I was terribly upset yesterday and thought "I just can't live with this." When I thought about "my life", which really means, "my life situation" it seemed so empty without him. Plus, I had already been choosing to find the negatives in my situation lately anyway... resentful the Winter weather, living with the parents, not working, all my free time, and the raw diet.
Plus, he is probably right, we're not a good match. I would of still loved to date for a while... and just see where it went, but you can't always get what you want. And maybe thats a sign that you shouldnt hold onto desires and believe you need to obtain them to be happy. It's a lesson I've been learning all year, "want what is." The more often things don't go as planned, the more I learn to surrender. :)
So, I'm having surprisingly decent day. Watching movies with glitter montages with my sister, the sun was out today, and I have a peace about me. Even deactivated my Facebook account, so I could spend less time online, and more time trying to enjoy people in person. :P
I know I will have hard days, but I will do my best to focus on the positive and truely I'll be an even better/happier person by the end of this. :D
1. Find the positive
2. Stay busy
3. Fill up your life with friends, family, hobbies, etc.
4. Enjoy the little things
5. Find evidence of your strength daily, always know your power
Posted by ssusen at 7:59 PM